Perfectly Flawed

Was there ever a moment, we wanted to feel perfect. We wanted to show we could not make mistakes, we could not fail or even when we did we still saw ourselves perfect.

I am at that edge in my life right now, beyond this goodness, this sweetness, this kindness, this wonder, this warmth, this greatness. There is a lot going on inside that only a few know about, when I should cry I smile, where I should feel sad I still try to stay happy.

In the midst of the storm, what is holding me together, what exactly is swaying me through the storm as raging as it seems, how do I find peace? My personality says perfect but there was never any perfect conditions. The storm raging, my heart palpitating, what do I make of me right now. Every form of perfection I thought I had was gone. Should I embrace my imperfection? Should I pretend everything is fine? Should I just pretend? In a world that says Trump your weakness, show your strength. My weakness keep showing up every single day. I have fallen like a pack of cards, not once, not twice, not thrice but more. I thought I could picked a piece but everything is in pieces.

Wearing a mask, a dark one, thinking it is going to shade me away from my past, my pain, my hurts, my distress, my despair with this one life I was given without a spare. Life only got chances, no spare. Even though I still try to live carefully I still despair. Should I plunge myself in the river? But what kind of river. I say I am not afraid of death, but would I die right. My heart skips, the sign of a lifting but what was it, some money rolled in. Money left, and sad I went back to my former state. So I kinda chilled what else can we get for a lifting, intimacy and some kind of approval. But no when things failed and you admitted your weakness, it’s like Hey you ain’t got strength.

So I moved on thinking, thinking life is going to do the thinking, I tried but I started freaking out. Afraid how would my life turn out. Do I have some hope to run to? I did but it seems cut short. Not bearing fruits but pursuing religious activity so they world could view me as thick but never knew I was a Pharisee. If there are Pharisees in this age then I’m one of them. Judge but ain’t living right huh. Tried to get some accountability but I get pushed to the corner like there is nothing to bring to account. I am struggling too much because i am trying to do this all by myself and for myself. If I could get some credit then it’s cool. What if I don’t? You can guess right.

Learning so much more about who God is and how I’d stopped journeying. Everything became a routine, life was a routine. Looked like an absolute, but nah. Inside, I believe there is more to this routine, which smells rotten, because it was all about marking the books. When am I ever going to get off doing things because I want to know God more than I used to? For me the time is now, I admit my frailty and my disloyalty. Chasing people and things but gave Him the leftovers. Yet, I am perfectly flawed, created in His image

Sorry there’s no bridge!

I know we’ve heard this saying and at some points in our lives we’ve used it to describe an upcoming event in our lives:

“When we get to the bridge we will cross it.”

We use this term when we are not sure of a decision that we need to make on the path we want to take. Some of us rather want to get to the bridge so we cross it but not after living a life we were not made for.

Now let’s think, what if those decisions you take rather prepare you to build a bridge than cross the bridge and what if its just a desert, an ocean or a huge mountain. What if there is no bridge, just a desert you were not prepared for, and you might just give up.

And most times when we are not flexible we will say all we want is a bridge and nothing else. And once we start the journey and we didn’t meet our expectations, we start looking elsewhere for a bridge that is not available. Maybe all you need to do was something more different. So before you start a journey be ready to face the uncertainties. You don’t just start a journey thinking about just a bridge, have an open mind, be flexible and prepare for whatever uncertainty may arise in the process.

Prepare to build a bridge where is none, prepare to water the ground where there is no rain, prepare to climb the mountain where there is no one at the top to pull you to the top. Prepare to be disappointed, prepare to be expectional, prepare to succeed, prepare to fail, prepare to win, prepare to lose. Just prepare for all things.

Why not “I’ll Prepare to cross the bridge but when I don’t see one or I see something unusual, I’ll still prepare for all things.”

Words

Our words will create our realities.

Why do Coaches and mentors tell their team and mentee to use affirmations that’s because words are very powerful.

Your words are swords and they can execute an enemy, someone you love or even kill you.

Your words can be burning arrows that can burn someone or it can be a chill that soothes the soul.

Our words will bring life or death.

Our words will shape our lives.

Our words becomes our reality.

You can call yourself anything but be careful what you call thyself.

Your words are vessels.

What do you call yourself exactly, slave or prince, beautiful or ugly, polite or saucy, good or bad.

Be careful what you call yourself, as in the supernatural realm they form our reality.

Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.

People that became what they are today, are who they are because of the words of yesterdays and where you see them tomorrow is because of the words of today.

Your words must not carry a vessel of comparison if not you’ve lost control over your own life.

Your words should not carry the stench of guilt in it because the more you dwell in it, the more it looks impossible to change.

Do you use words like its impossible, do you use words like I don’t have a vision, a mission or a goal, I don’t know my purpose.

How much are you willing to change the narrative?

I’ve got my Fire Back

After being away from blogging for some months, distracted by world politics, the rant on Twitter street. The Trumps and the Hillarys. I was hoping my Timeline will breathe some air after the election. But No!

Everyday and every time something new happens and the trend. I am picking up lessons from everywhere I can. From books, to blogs and experiences.

I am struggling to dissipate the noise around me, I could not do away with all, squeezed the rest like lemonade and turned them to music.

As the curtains to 2017 were opened on that first day of January, I wondered if I start running now and fast, I might get tired and lose my strength while in my path to that which has been assigned to me this year. The declarations this year was powerful but I have to live by them by seeking first the Giver of all gifts.

What does the year hold for us beyond the recession, Trump’s victory, and bringing it home, Buhari’s indefinite medical leave. There seems to be so much distraction everywhere, the list is endless.

But we need to speak to ourselves more, have the real  conversations on how to uplift and build our communities, most importantly being united.

In this world right now, make the most of every opportunity, be the best you can be. Don’t be too rigid with yourself and with others. Judge less, respect others, believe and never stop believing and take action.

I would not be going off anymore as my words would never suffer recession. And learning about business in the 21st century, chilling with a cup of strawberry tea with colleagues at the office. And my partner, Jide always teasing me with some bossy talk.

Yes, I am afraid of some things, but I will do it afraid. I will write afraid and I will speak afraid.

Plus today is Valentine’s Day.